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Long time no post…

So time for a late night/early morning rant I guess?  Here are the  things on my list:  I’m disappointed in my self.  I’ve got no money, I’ve procrastinated to such an extreme it’s ridiculous, I’m sleepy but pulling an all-nighter that I probably can’t afford to be doing at this time, and I’m terribly uncomfortable with a LARGE plethora of things right now.

1. – I have no money.  I currently have only 10 dollars to my name for a very indefinite amount of time.  I’ve no clue how I’ll survive.  So I hope my newly decorated dorm room door wins me a prize a week from now.  I’ll be spending this week improving it.  Did I forget to mention that I’ve only got 10 dollars? I’m up this late with no hope of coffee…  Unless I plan on buying some and then rationing it to last a nice long week.  Either way, it’s pretty hopeless.  I’m ashamed that I only have that much and yet have such a surplus of other things that I can make decorations for my door.

2. – I’ve procrastinated in the most shameful way possible.  I’ve got a test that is over a week late.   I sat and let myself whine and moan and cower in fear at the idea of my first encounter with the bible in such a setting for the first time ever in my life.  (I have no clue if that even made sense.  I’m assuming it didn’t since I’m writing at 3am.)  Not once in my life have I ever attended a normal church service, or sunday school, or been religious in any way shape or form.  I may as well have been raised with out any knowledge that Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Buddism, etc. ever existed.  I remember singing songs like “Jesus loves me yes I know…” and other children’s songs, but not realizing once that it had anything to do with the Christian faith.  But at the same time, while I got that positive but very vague exposure to religion, my first direct confrontations with it never seemed very charismatic.  All in all I’d come to develop a general dislike and discomfort for all types of faith, and a very strong aversion to entering any place of worship.  (No this does not mean I’m a satanist.)  I’ve also gotten to the point I don’t even agree with anyone calling me an atheist. (Though I let people do it sometimes because it’s easier than trying to explain why I dislike it.)  So you can barely begin to imagine how having to write five papers relating to the Christian religion is effecting me.  And so.  I am ashamed.

3. – I must now pull an all-nighter which will probably result in me falling asleep in miscellaneous places which can and will be very bad considering that I have a quiz that I can not make up if I miss tomorrow.  Which is also a quiz that I’ve not studied for.  And because of that  I’m both up a very dangerous creek with out a paddle and ashamed.

4. – I’m sure I’ve covered part of the reason that I’m uncomfortable right now.  But then, there are several other reasons, but at this point I’m too tired to think straight.  So I’m thinking I’ll finish one more paper, then bring my laptop to class and work more later.  I repeat.  I am SO ASHAMED!

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Bored to the extreme.

I love summer.  Not because school is out, or because I get to laze around and do nothing.  I hate doing nothing and whether I’m in school or not doesn’t affect me much.  School is just school.  I have no problem with it.  I love spring, summer, and fall because even if it rains it’s not as cold as winter.  I hate winter.  It’s cold, it snows, and THEN school becomes a problem because it breaks in to my summer when I really actually hope I might be able to do something interesting.But sadly.  During the summer, I stay home, I play on my computer, and as my family puts it, we all sit and stare at each other.  Pretty boring.  I can’t stand sitting still, so I end up sleeping, and then I become completely nocturnal.  As if I wasn’t before.  I’m always up late.  So when I’m awake I’m here at home.  Maybe I’ll sew, crochet, draw, knit, read, play computer games, eat, or something.  But I don’t go out much in the summer.  Mostly because I lose contact with almost all of my friends from school.  But really it’s just because I don’t make the effort to go out and do stuff.

I don’t really like having to ask my parents if I can go out with my friends and do this or that.  I’ve found it to be more trouble than it’s worth, and in any case I’m going to college soon and there’s better things for me to be doing right?  But.  What are those things?  What the heck was I supposed to be doing again?  My parents don’t remember either.  Until it’s convenient for them. I could invite my friends over.  They’re busy, or my parents don’t feel like it because my sister’s already had her friends over this week.  Sometimes my parents will say yes even if they don’t want company over.  Then I feel guilty.  So usually I just don’t ask.

Have I mentioned how much blogger hates me? Every time I try to start a new paragraph, whether I hit enter in Visual, or put the br for a break in the Code, it doesn’t work when I save… But maybe it’s just me. I’ve not made any posts in a long time, and I haven’t played with my website in even longer. I should get back to that. I’ve been lazy with my plans, ideas, and dreams. I’ve got to get to work. There’s another reason I’m virtually a hermit. Though I would like to get out and go see places. I’ll sit at home and muse about the things I want to do, though whether I actually do it or not depends on so many things, and usually I’ll just end up giving up after a few hours. I think I still work the hardest at night when I feel like I have some privacy and no one’s watching and judging me. Because no matter where I happen to go, I always feel like I’m on display. I don’t like letting people watch me work. I feel like they’ll see me fail. I’d rather practice in private, and show only my success. Because no matter how you look at it, if everyone sees you fail too often, no matter how understanding they are, they’ll lose faith and call you slow. But then. Maybe that’s just me.

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New Blog Space!

Hello everyone!
I created a blog, here, where I’ll be posting all my thoughts on college and all the other fun stuff about after high school plans.  Hopefully it’ll help me sort through the thirteen schools I’ve narrowed my list down to.
~Asi J. M.

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Senioritis

So.  Everyone past, or somewhere before this point in a high schooler’s life think.  “Yay! Senior year!  Let’s party, it’s almost over!”  Meanwhile those of us actually suffering through this period of life are going.  “ARE YOU CRAZY? This crap is hell!”  Who ever tells you,  “It’s senior year!  Relax a little.  It’s almost over then you can go to college.”  Smack them.  Smack them now!

Senior year is basically a period in life where you walk through life searching for colleges, careers, scholarships, money, laptops, and other life related stuff while you’re still doing homework, you’re still going to school, you’re still trying not to fail, and of course, the big one, you’re still waiting to graduate.  All senior year is a big transition period where if you screw up you remember for the rest of your life that you were THIS CLOSE!  But in the end you didn’t quite make it.  Yes yes.  We all understand this year most of us will be turning eighteen (except some of you geniuses out there who wanted to encounter this earlier or later, which ever) and we’ll all be adults and ‘going out into the world.

‘Well, let me say this: That’s all crazy talk.In fact.  What’s really happening is you’re willingly signing up and planning to pay thousands of dollars for more schooling, and another graduation.  Of course.  As everyone tells you it’s not that bad.  But in the moment it really is JUST THAT BAD.  You know, it’s moments like this I hate trying to be Little Miss Over Achiever…  Because right now, being amazing doesn’t look all that great.  This is how my normal week goes:

1. – Wake up.

2. – Get dressed and go to school.

3. – Go to 1st and 2nd period. (Discrete Math, because I failed Honors Statistics last semester, and US History, because I failed Honors US History LAST YEAR! note to self:  don’t fail class ever again.)

4. – Decide whether to go to lunch, or be depressed about lack of friends or scholarships in the library. (Though recently it’s changed to:  Go to Ms. Smith’s classroom and ignore the lack of friends while finding scholarships and solving college related problems.)

5. – Go to 3rd and 4th period.

6. – Go home and stress over homework and college or stay for a club and feel relaxed for a little over half an hour before going home and stressing over homework and college.

7. – Dinner, possibly while still stressing over homework and college stuff.

8. – Up late besides being in bed, still thinking about college stuff, lack of friends, and graduating.  And wondering how to pay for it all.

9. – “Rinse and repeat.

“See?  Hell.  You understand right?  Though maybe not.  Cause at the moment I’m wondering my sanity on this issue.  I’ve officially changed my plans four times since I started this year.  There’s no problem with that I don’t think.  Other than that now I’m rushing to get everything done before March 1st.  I’ve applied to so many colleges I’m starting to lose track, and already I’ve given up on finishing applying for them.  And it’s only this many because of how many times I’ve either changed my mind or let my decisions be influenced by others.  Other ones are just random things I threw into my search or decided to apply for.  At this point there’s really no direction or pattern or organization to it all.  Later in the year I’ll get a letter from some random college or university saying this or that and I’ll be like, “When the HELL did I apply for this one? WTF?”  Or something like that. (Probably with much more profanity though.)

Colleges I’ve applied to:

  • Wingate University (I’ve been accepted to go here on in-state tuition with a full scholarship that covers just about everything.)
  • University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill (I started the application, but at this point I probably won’t finish the application.)
  • University of North Carolina – Greensboro (Because after new years my dad decided I was going to fail so it’d be easiest for me to go for a cheap college in-state.)
  • Univeristy of North Carolina School of the Arts (Though I can’t quite remember what program I applied for.)
  • Art Insitutes of Raleigh-Durham (They accepted me, but I’d still have to find a way to pay for everything even though my application has be marked inactive because I didn’t manage to set an appointment between them and my parents in a timely manner…)
  • Art Institutes of Los Angeles – California (I have no idea why they put my application as inactive AGAIN but they did, and it was an alternate anyway.)
  • Ex’pression College for Digital Arts (I found this to be my first choice at the beginning of the year, and I was accepted and focused on finding scholarships, but I was told this school wasn’t good enough, and I could find better and cheaper.  Of course at the time my main goal was just getting out-of-state.)
  • University of Michigan (My best friend was applying, and her dad recommended it to me.  But in the end we both gave up on applying.)
  • Drexel University (Another suggestion from my BFF.  I really like this one. This one and NYU Poly, and two others have replaced Ex’pression as one of my top choices.)
  • Polytechnic Institute of New York University aka: NYU Poly (I found this in a Private Colleges and Universities Magazine.  It caught my eye so I looked it up.  I really like it, though I was aiming to stay away from the east coast in my college searches.)
  • Worchester Polytechnic Institute (Another Polytech Institute that caught my eye while looking through the PC&UMag.  It offers Interactive Media and Game Development, so I applied here too.)
  • Westwood College -> California (It offers Game Software Development, Game Art, and other related programs. It’s also in Los Angeles, which means I’d have family nearby in two places in LA.)

Wow… Look at that list…  I’m lucky I’ve 1. Not paid for some of them yet, 2. Didn’t have to pay for some of them, and 3. Have already applied and been accepted to a few of them.  Geeze.  I think I should stop looking up colleges and focus on scholarships.  As of yet, I don’t have any other than the Scholarship for Wingate University.  Contests, Scholarships, and FAFSA here I come…

I look forward to your feed back everyone.  I guess to organize my thoughts a little more I’ll post a little of what I’ve looked at for each college/university.  I’ve researched some of them more thoroughly than others.

Luv Bloggin’ With Ya!

Foxxenne D. aka: Asi J. M.

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Layouts

Over the next few days I’ll be testing out different layouts over and over again to see if they’ll work.  I don’t know if anyone noticed, but the last one before I changed back to this one was very creative.  I really liked the design.  Though I could not find the links to my pages to save my life.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me…  But anyway.  It didn’t work out.  So for a little while at least, we’ve got this plain one back again.  I figured I’d use this one for now, until I can figure out what to do with the other ones I’ve got.

Thx.

Foxx

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So I know I’m a little… a lot late…

    But I didn’t mean to be, honest! I got distracted and lazy after I went to the store, when I made the last post. But now I’m here and all is well. Kinda. Or something.
    At any rate, I said that I would be making the review of BunnyKills happen, so here I am, making them happen. Go me!
    And thus it began…..
    Bunny Kill One!
    As you happen upon a webpage, you see a picture of a docile bunny on a hill… But WAIT! This bunny is covered in blood and has a sword! Whatever has happened?
    Oh Dear! Heavy metal blares as you watch this little samurai bunny take on other sword wielding bunnies in a quest to kill them all. They always did say that the human race was entertained by mindless violence, and they were right, I realize as I giggle when I see this little bunny go against a rather large superbunny here:
    1-sword.png
    Bunny Kill One was nice. But not as impressive as its sequels. No plot, mindless violence, simple graphics. But wait! Its a bunny!
    I give it 4 out of 10 Kill Points.
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Up and Coming from ES Productions

Or maybe I should say writings… Oh well. I’ve decided that since I am bored I will start writing about things that I watch on le internetz, and call it… *Dramatic pause* AS FOUND ON THE INTARWEBZ!!!! (Echo echo echo). Yup. First we shall have the Reviews of the BUNNYKILL series. And then heh, who knows what will happen?

    With love, Eurah Stalkherr is signing off!
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Goodwill: Home to the nicest convicts that you will ever meet ^_^

    So I had to do summer volunteer work for school (required as a graduation requirement and sadly prevented me from getting a job) and as such I decided to do it at Goodwill. You know, that one place that they sell all the used stuff that’s like one giant flea market all the time (though I totally prefer the flea market).
    I chose it randomly, and though I might have found working at the animal shelter more fulfilling, I definitely had a lot of fun at goodwill for three not so bad reasons:
  1. Its like reverse shopping
  2. You get to meet the nicest convicts
  3. Slightly creepy Hispanic customers will hit on you and follow you around as you hang up clothes (but that might just be me…)
    And now I shall elaborate. Because every good english teacher will make you otherwise you are making unsupported claims or something and then they grade you lower. At ant rate:
    Reason One: Its like reverse shopping. Yes. It is. When volunteering at this fine institution you will learn that you are totally able to reverse shop. Because your main duties are hanging up clothes, putting them on racks, and taking those clothes off of racks to put onto other racks, you will have plenty of time to browse. Since you are a volunteer though and as such are temporarily working there, you will not be able to buy these things. However, someone else can and you can pay these people back. If you do your work too fast, then they attempt to make work for you to do, and its usually more stupid and boring that the normal work that you are doing in the first place. Because of all this, if working at Goodwill, I suggest strongly that you work slowly. But not too slowly, because then they’ll complain. If you work too fast, you will have nothing to do except sleep in the changing rooms *(which I totally did for the last 3 hours of a shift in which I did all of the work that they had for me to do and then some lol). At any rate this is one of the things that you will learn.
    Reason two: You get to meet the nicest convicts. This is also a true statement. Usually these are the harmless ones, or the ones that did too much fighting, so they are nice conversationalists if you don’t piss them off. Its fun. I had the nicest conversation about cookies with one lady who beat another lady into the hospital. Slightly scary, and had too much attitude, but not a bad lady, just really fucking scary.
    Lastly Reason Three: You get hit on. This is self explanatory, there was this one time when I was shelving clothes and a cure hispanic boy started hitting on me and following me around smiling and such. It was kinda creepy, but altogether very flattering and made my day.
    Needless to say I didn’t take a lunch break so that they wouldn’t kill me. lol.In conclusion, Goodwill is a good place to work. And they appreciate you. and if they don’t then hide the clothes that you like and then steal them or something. Well maybe not that. Otherwise its court ordered Goodwill for you!
    ~Eurah Stalkherr
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Windows Seven…. BEAST

I would like to tell you all that Windows Seven is Beast.

    Happy things about it:
  • - No annoying security may I’s ( though in vista you can tell it not to do that, for those of you that didn’t know )
  • - Epic Win in Stability (Does not crash as far as I’ve used it, nor does it freeze up as much as vista did for me before, I also use it as my base with Linux Fedora Leonidas)
  • - You still have Cusomizability (for those of you that liked Aero on Vista, its still here and comes with special packs, so you don’t even have to think!)
  • - Memory usage is epic optimized. (Non slow, non laggy, much happy face).
    And I like it all over for many more reasons too!
    Though the power is still slightly killer on battery life, it is less so in Se7en than in previous versions of windows, allowing for you to work for longer amounts of time without battery failness.
    The tablet functions are what really make me happy though, because  they have gone above and beyond. Customizing the writing identification has become simpler and more accurate, tablet functions are also quite epic with stylus precision being better than it was in past editions, and now allowing one to actually use the tablet face as a keyboard (which I could never get it to do in le Vista). But enough banging of vista, because I love it too (but to a lesser degree than se7en).
    ~Eurahstalkher
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Update: New page

The “Plans and To Do Lists:” page is for all ideas for things that may be upcoming on this site.  Please look at it and tell me your views by commenting on this post, or emailing me at UnEnding.Eternity@gmail.com

Much Thanks.

~Foxx

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